A thing of the past

So. Halfterm is coming up in 3 days. It’s weird. I seem to say this all the time, but time both passes very fast and very slowly in this place. In a way, it seems that it was just yesterday that I left Malaysia and everything has zoomed by so fast, but when I think of the daily things which happens, it seems that every day has been such a long day, tiring, with so many things going on, and somethings which never seem to end (like exams? hehe)

To think of it, there’s not much left of my 1st year over here. Wow. And I only have a year after this… it’s quite scary how time can pass. Only 38 more days (or actually, 26 days of schooling) are left…

So many things have changed in my life in this year. It’s something about leaving home, I guess. It’s like being thrown into the deep end of the pool when you’ve always been swimming in the shallow end, it’s like suddenly walking into a new place, and you don’t know what’s going to happen. May be good, may be bad. When you leave home, you have to start making decisions yourself, you can’t rely as much on parents (although they’re always there), you have to rely more on God… basically, everything changes.

Sigh.. September 04 was the turning point.. Sometimes it seems that life was so much easier before that (I’m not talking about studies here, because obviously I prefer my studies here). Most things were taken care of and somehow I never thought about what went on everyday. Then… WHAM! Total change. I guess I’ve almost let go of childhood now, even though in a way I’m still a child. But those things of the past… are just beyond my reach now. But, one never knows right? hehe.

I guess it’s true that I’ve experienced worse downs over here, when life really goes right down, but I’ve also experienced higher ups than I’ve had. Without any hesitation, I guess everyone can say “Life is not without problems”. But there’s always the great comforter and guide up there…

Things that have really helped me in this year have been
– Both God and my parents… how else would I have survived without them?
– Psalms 121, Romans 8:38,39
– And the great friends that God has blessed me with…

Having stayed in this community for more than half a year now, I think I shall make some comments, trying not to be judgemental. Enough people here have good manners, the teachers are mostly great, the teaching techniques are good… There are actually many good things in England, and also, I guess the boarding schools here are very good.. Some things I didn’t like – travelling in London after 7pm, you get drunks here and there (and in the tube station). At a deeper level, I guess that most of the students here are rich enough.. and somehow, they don’t seem to see beyond money, fame, power, sex, etc etc. To many of them, those are the most important things. I think, in a way, it’s depressing… Also, enough of them are a bit immature. One thing I really didn’t like is their mentality that everything done must have a blame on someone, whether good or bad. When something is spoilt, they’ll start going “Oh, Hoong Ern broke it” or when the someone asks why the room smells of smoke, “Oh, (someone) smokes” and.. well, you get the idea. And I asked about it, and one of the them said that it’s basically ‘revenge’. Someone blames you, you blame them back, and so on. Until, they don’t even think about it when they’ve blamed someone. I try not to think too much about it. Oh yeah, of course being ‘cool’ is important to them as well. And swearing. I shall not comment. Of course, I’ve only seen a fraction of this place, so these are all dependant on my school. I don’t know how it is out there.

I wouldn’t exactly say I’m correct, but it does seem that I’m among (or maybe the most) the people in this school who go about alone. I’m sure there are some good people in this school, maybe I just haven’t met many yet. But basically I sit alone, eat alone, walk alone, and so on. I guess, the Chinese are in their bunch (I do talk to them somewhat, but bacause my mandarin is basically non-existant I guess there’s still a gap), basically students from their countries bunch up… There are a few from M’sia, but I don’t see many of them, and I’m also the only Malaysian Chinese here. It can be hard at certain times… But it’s good that I’m normally busy.

I’d say that one thing missing from this world at the moment, very much, is responsible people (actually, honestly to say, responsible MEN). Just look around, open the newspapers, check the news, you should know lah, what men are like. Sad sad sad. I do hope to grow up into a responsible man of God…

I think I shall be off now. I finally got the pictures that Lordson/Dewgem took at my farewell last year (August 31st, was it? Seems so long ago). Just go to http://dewgem.fotopic.net if you want to see them. I shall put them on my gallery when the time is right.

I guess that shall be all for now. I’m getting visitors from M’sia soon! My music teacher, Ann Perreau, on Thursday, and I shall be spending some time during halfterm break with Christoper Leow and family down in London!

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