Sometimes, I’m feel like I’m dreaming. I know it’s real, but it can be hard to accept. It just seems that my life has been cut up in two, one part lived by one person, and the other lived by a different one. Hardly any ‘transition’ period, it’s like (I’ve used this analogy before) being thrown into the deep end of a pool.
The question is, how will you handle it? Will you just give up and drown, or will you just work hard enough to survive, or are you going to give it the best of your very best? We almost always know what we ‘should’ do, but it is a question of doing it.
Real changes begin when you leave your home, your comfort zone, and go off to a place you know not about, where you do not know what to expect. Where do you place your trust in, if your family is not around?
For me, these changes have come from being thrown into UK. How different it is, and how much I had to change. I hope and pray that I changed for the better, and I tried to do my best. And I put my trust in the Lord that everything will come out okay.
After these drastic changes, It seems a dream that I was once in primary and secondary school, the times I used to stand in the field for perhimpunan (assembly). It seems so long ago. But now I must look forward and walk where the Lord tells me to go.
It is not easy, in fact, I’d say that it’s almost humanly impossible. But I shall try and obey.
It seems such a lonely life, after spending a year overseas. “Friends will always be friends”. I don’t think so, actually. Many have come and gone by, and many have left impressions in my mind, whether good or bad. It is a thing of life, inevitable. In fact, almost nothing is ever constant. The only universal constant is God, and that is where we must place our trust in.
Where have all that I have known gone? The group of friends I’ve ever had, gone? I’m not saying I don’t have friends, I’m sure I do, but sometimes they seem so far away. But things have changed too much.
In no way, am I trying to place any guilt or accusing on anybody in this post. It’s probably just me.