I don’t know what I wrote the excerpt for. It’s just a mix of random thoughts going through my mind.
How I wish I were back on the top of Ham Hill, breeze blowing, and, oh, the rolling plains of Somerset to be seen all around… How I remember, I were in a small practice room in the gathering winter darkness with lights off, not a soul around. Only me. To curl up in the corner of the practice room and just… close my eyes.
An image of a person – sitting by himself at a table, one person amidst a thousand others, but alone at the table while others busily eat all around.
Just standing in the middle of the music lodge when no one is around… Walking home in winter cold and dark, stars overhead. So much going on in some small place of the earth, yet imagine the size of the universe.
Life’s complex – it consists of real and imaginary parts.
Time marches forward relentlessly, unforviging and never generous. Once gone, it’s gone. Does time rule us?
Shall I ever again… see? hear? touch? smell?
Where are you?
Wishing I never made those mistakes, me who forgets, me who hurts, who fails constantly… Wishing I always gave the best for others and gave them chances, wishing I did not fail those whom I promised to, wishing for recognition and to recognise…
But for the grace of God…
He who has led me by this path – not by chance, I have to trust…
I leave… yet I don’t see what lies ahead. He knows.